I’ve worked with people for almost 20 years now. I’ve seen high achievers, I’ve seen low performers.
What sets them apart is not how smart they are.
Neither is how much they work.
It’s also not talent.
It’s their thinking.
The conversation happening in their head.
Especially when there’s a failure.
The thinking pattern of winners:
failure ->
what to avoid in the future ->
what was positive to be replicated in the future ->
what are my current resources to move forward -> move
The thinking pattern of losers:
failure ->
why it went wrong ->
who to blame -> how to punish them -> stay stuck
Same moment. Different mind.
The blame loop feels smart because it sounds analytical. But it isn’t. It’s a past-obsessed story that keeps you stuck.
The high achiever loop is uncomfortable because it removes your favorite escape path: “It wasn’t me.” It puts you back in the driver’s seat. Now and next.
The difference?
You take personal responsibility for what’s happening.
Because think about it:
You can always (ALWAYS!) do something to improve any shitty situation you’re in. If you can’t, then it’s none of your business.
Read that again.
Most people fail at two steps:
They blame others and fail to see what actions they can personally take to improve the situation in their favor, OR
They can’t do anything, but they stay stuck in a situation, which is not theirs in the first place.
Here’s a simple 2 - step technique I use to grow my people to high achievers:
Step 1: Personal responsibility: whenever you face a negative situation (even thought or emotion), think: “What can I PERSONALLY DO to improve this?”
Forget about what others say or do. You can’t change them. But you can change you.
Step 2: Use powerless vs. powerful questions technique. Next time you talk to yourself (and others) use powerful questions. Talk about what’s positive and think about the now and the future. Remember the loop from above (failure -> what to avoid in the future -> what was positive to be replicated in the future -> what are my current resources to move forward -> move) - powerfull questions supercharge you, they move you forward.
Most people use powerless questions - they drain your energy and keep you stuck. They are always about what’s negative and in the past. Remember the loop from above (failure -> why it went wrong -> who to blame -> how to punish them) - they keep you stuck.
Here’s how this looks like:
Why this works?
it’s positive
it’s action oriented
it moves you towards better results
Your chain of thought:
“What will I not repeat?”
“What was good here that I’ll replicate?”
“Given my current time/skills/people, what’s the next smallest step?”
Do that step. Today.
That’s it. Four lines. Back to work.
You’re not your failure.
You’re the owner of what happens next.
Design that.
And remember to have a GUT time!
Yana